Christmas Is Closer Than You Think

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This GE clock radio is pretty dope, and it would look nice on my night stand. The ad says the radio turns your coffee maker and television on. Did they really have that technology in 1951? In any case, I already have a clock radio, and it’s entirely useless. It doesn’t matter if I fall asleep at 11pm or 3am (both of those scenarios happen weekly, btw) because I’m up with the sun or before the rooster crows. My body won’t let me sleep in. Even on the Sundays that I have to be up by 7am to go sing at church, I’m always up before then. But I set it just in case. In fact, I haven’t actually heard the alarm go off in years because I’ve risen and shut it off before it ever meets its hour. And when I arrive to church at 8am, and others are yet tardy half an hour later, they always say their “phones didn’t go off.” Well, perhaps they need to buy a clock radio. One with a plug. Then it will never need charging.