Pre-Star Wars Lightsabers 1953
Category: College
Mapache’s Gettin’ Big and Mapache’s Gettin’ Bigger
Today’s Spanish word of the day is mapache. Mapache. You know, like Apache Indians. It’s totally fun to say. It means raccoon. Wouldn’t mapaches be a great mascot for a team? They are certainly more menacing than Delta State University’s Fighting Okra.
Don’t get me wrong; that vegetable looks tough. But he lends himself to getting beat easily, or “fried” or “stewed” or “chopped.” That’s no good. But not this guy. He’s clever. He’s sneaky. He’s crafty. And he’s just my type.
Does he remind you of anyone?
Making Plans
When Steve McQueen Says You’re Hot, People Listen
The 1964 yearbook staff at the University of Oklahoma had the juevos to ask Steve McQueen to participate as “Beauty Judge” for their beauty contest. He actually took the time to reply.
Ask and ye shall receive. After all, years of girl-gazing did qualify him to judge. And he chose Miss Barbie Listen. Yep, that’s her real name.
Can you blame him? Her hair is only perfect. Her dress and gloves are white as snow. And I think it was very diplomatic of him to name five girls in the tie for 4th place. Nobody wants to be the loser. But I imagine Barbie Listen comes from the school of Ricky Bobby:
Suck it, losers.
Girls Gone Mild
Laptop, How I Love Thee
Thirty-Five Cent Flick
When I was young, there was a dollar movie theater in town, where you could view not-so-recent movies or rescreenings of Ishtar. I also recall going skating on Wednesdays for dollar skate night. But I am not old enough to recall paying a quarter and a dime for a movie. This I cannot fathom. How much was a Coke? A nickel?
When LBJ Locks You Into His Steely Death Stare…
…you cannot look away.
Politics Can Be Fun!
As long as it’s just college politics…
If You Find This Offensive, Wait Til Tomorrow’s Post
A prospective Girl of the Month exposes her calves for the judgement of the 1948 staff of The Ranger.
Canterbury Club
Red Stick Gumbo
I’m not sure “unique” is the word I would use for a university (LSU) that allows this shorts shot in its yearbook (The Gumbo) sans caption, so we have no idea if this is a shrunken hacky sack or a walnut being tossed around, but unique is what it has declared itself to be. See?
What’s weirder than a yearbook showing a student getting high? Someone still smoking pot after 1980.
Now take a journey with me if you will, back into the lives of Louisiana State University students during the 1985-1986 school year. The campus is located in Baton Rouge (aka Red Stick), Louisiana, and here’s a fun fact:
- The city got its name from the blood-drenched poles that were used to hang bear heads and fish in various rituals that were carried out by the natives. Now just add voodoo and stir!
The rules of the Jam Jam ’85 (aka Jambalaya-Jamboree) included:
- First you don your gay apparel (overalls).
- Then you kiss the crawfish.
3. Then you put a camo shirt on, grab a girl with crawfish earrings, and sing a rousing rendition of Hank Williams’ “Jambalaya.”
Altogether, that sounds quite promising. What a fun campus! No wonder Matt Damon chose LSU to pursue his bachelors of disc jockey.
But he wasn’t the only fish in that Red Stick Gumbo. The man candy was a veritable feast for the eyes.
Not your style? Well, check out United Colors of Benetton.
I’m pretty certain that’s B-List 80s actor T.K. Carter on the far right, so Matt Damon wasn’t the only Oscar-winning actor on campus. And who could blame them? LSU dorm life could not be matched. Just life Stefan says on SNL, “This place has everything.”
Big screen plasma TVs…
Okay, maybe not yet. But there were other options.
Okay, well, big screen TVs hadn’t been invented yet. But that’s not the point. The point is you could lounge indoors or outdoors.
You could eat lunch at a restaurant called The Library, if you were desperately seeking…food.
Why, you could even up and learn another language at the language lab–if you were willing to let the headphones jack up your sweet hairdon’t.
And you could wait with baited breath at this Residence Hall Workshop. I spy with my little eyes Panama Jack in the second row.
Now, listen, I won’t waste much of your time with Greek life. But it gets weird with Delta Kappa Epsilon. At first, I was like, “Is that Chef from ‘Southpark’ in the middle? Is that Boris Becker?”
Yeah, it is Boris Becker (ish), but it’s evidently Levy the Master Chef. My bad. Makes perfect sense. What the what? I know. It’s too much to process. Time for the mandatory 80s sax solo.
I Don't Get It 