Tag: Eyeglasses

I Am A Winter, And My Glasses Are Hidd-Yuss

Feb 1985 Vogue

Actually, these owlish, oversized specs aren’t as hidd-yuss as most of the following glasses from 1985. But these Ted Lapidus ones certainly qualify.

She seems to be gritting her teeth to prevent from cursing their bulky black bamboo frame, perfect for eating kung pao shrimp.

The next model seems to have moved on to dessert.

April 85

I guess boys DO make passes at girls who wear glasses–especially if it’s Sophia Loren. She must have loved her some curlicues. And pearls. And lace.

How about supermodel Paulina, sporting patriotic fingernails?

Sorry, but those hoopy metal sunglasses are awful. Just awful. Even on Paulina.

And who among you wants their frames to be at nostril level? Not I.

March ’85

These white ones might have appealed to me as a teen, but what they delivered in style, they lacked in peripheral vision. Thus the pout.

And what about these? They remind me of spreading butterfly wings. Is she in an indoor wind storm?

Well, I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane (and I hope you’re wearing your glasses). After all, it’s the best way to enjoy the interwebs.

giphy.com

Half-Tinted

May 1938 San Antonio
May 1938 San Antonio

I’ve never seen a pair of glasses with only one lens tinted. I cannot fathom why he would wear such a pair, unless he was hiding some horrible disfigurement and, not wanting to be called “pirate” instead of “pappaw,” forewent the eye patch. Qui sait? That, however, is not my only question. What appears to be one slender billy goat’s gruff of a beard, upon further examination looks more like exhaled cigar smoke. But how could it be traveling one way down his chin and then circling back up past his hat? Even the granddaughter looks perplexed.

wisp

Three Pairs of Four-Eyes

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Behold the power of the cat’s eye glasses to make an otherwise attractive 16-year-old girl look 74 years old.

However, the presbyopia epidemic dared not cross the threshold of the Anderson home, for these two towheaded teens were clearly spared (or too vain to wear them in their portraits). If Delores and Donna were in fact twins, I can say with certainty that they were fraternal. We all know who the pretty one is. But if it’s any consolation, Donna had the better marriage. The Andrus twins, however, were identical, down to their floral pinafores. The only difference appears to be Norma’s daring sideswept bang. And her mischievous smile.

Then we have the bottom row, all of whom spent significant amounts of time with pink foam curlers–or perhaps, cans of frozen orange juice. The result can only be called breathtaking. In the case of the center ladies, I half expect a surfer to fly out from under the tidal wave atop their tilted heads. Magnificent! And Jean is really selling the look. Once you see the Sophomore Favorites, you’ll understand why they tried so hard. Two words. Elmer Snodgrass.

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Once the word was out that he didn’t like Jana “in that way,” it was on. IT. WAS. ON. Competition was fierce. Jeanette Hill accidentally dropped her books in front of him. Classic Jeanette.

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It didn’t work. Sandra Mabry used her graceful swanlike neck and coconut macaroon earrings to entice him in Economics class.

57Hornet005No dice. Pastor’s daughter, Donna Smith, lay in wait for him in the parking lot, asking for a light for her Camel.

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He did not light her Camel. Those broads were swell, but they all lacked one thing that only Nancy Shurbet possessed.

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Super-tinted lenses.