Three Simple Steps: From Frigid Wife To Frigidaire
Tag: Domestic
Mend No More
When’s the last time you mended a garment? I don’t mean a simple button replacement; I mean adding a knee patch, darning a sock. For me, the answer is never. Mending is a lost art. It’s much easier to drive a mile down the road and grab a dozen socks for $10 than repair the one with the hole in the heel. That sock was weak and deserves the trash.
I wonder if some readers have never seen a plastic wicker sewing backet.
I own my great-grandmother’s sewing basket, similar to this one, but I confess I’ve never used anything inside. Sentiment over function. At this point, it’s more art than utility. Do you remember one from your childhood?
Giant Bi-Racial Maraca Hovers Over Darning Housewife
Nope. Not familiar with a darning egg. But I am familiar with eyestrain, and if she thinks she knows eyestrain, oh, honey–just wait until they invent portable phones!
As if post-war needlework wasn’t complicated enough, this next “novel idea” suggests hooking a window shade to a sewing machine to serve as an extension table.
Screw eyes and hooks? My sentiments exactly. Forget that. And this last one? Oh, dear. I have no words.
Looks Like I Picked The Right Decade (in which) To Be A Housewife
This just broke my brain. That is not a flat iron. That is not a Chi. Drying clothes happens inside a house, not near trees. Serious planning and diagramming was involved to just DRY CLOTHES. The woman on the right looks quite vexed, like an angry cat. She needs a box of wine.
And check out the master of coat hanger origami.
Oh, my poor grandmothers! I haven’t hung stockings/hose to dry this century. Does anyone wear pantyhose any more? Is metallurgy required? Does anyone even USE WIRE HANGERS? I sure as H do not. I saw Mommy Dearest. I’m no fool.
And what on earth is this? I can do both the Mashed Potato and the Twist, but not in a bowl of pajamas.
What kind of female McGyver was the housewife of yesteryear supposed to be? She was too busy making avocado melon Jell-O molds to dabble in repurposing kitchen utensils. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
P.S. this looks safe.
I Don't Get It 
