Mimosa Out Of Reach

Up Here is a public artwork created by Liisa Hietanen out of crochet. She crochets some amazing life-size work. This one literally sits inside a Hämeenkyrö elementary school in Western Finland. It’s called TÄÄLLÄ YLHÄÄLLÄ (just try it) but students have nicknamed it Mimosa, as it clearly implies champagne and orange juice. I hope these kids are too young to have read A Separate Peace.

In addition, she uses her yarn-based craftiness to capture likenesses of folks in her village. Then the art is displayed in her town. Which means at some point, you may actually stumble across an image of yourself in your ugly winter sweater, with your very dog, who may have mixed reactions at that point.

As usual, I don’t get it. But it sure is interesting.


Hello, and welcome to our holiday hoops edition at The Blog of Funny Names! Today, we highlight some of the best and most creative names in the newly-formed basketball academy called Overtime Elite. Catering to young men aged 16-18, the academy helps prepare them for professional basketball careers while offering courses in financial literacy as […]


This Is Not How You Contain A Virus

J Holder

This is how you destroy the country you pledged to protect.

Thousands coming every day. We do not have the manpower for this. No country’s government would allow this but ours, a failure in protecting American citizens.

He doesn’t care about the virus. He never did. Countries empty their prisons at our border, at his invitation. No vaccine required. Some of families. Some are criminals. Murderers, rapists, pedophiles, thieves. A state exhausted and taxed, using every bit of energy to do his job, while his border czar twiddles her thumbs. Terrorists delighted at the prospect.

The rate of theft has increased dramatically in September. Two Saturdays ago, 10 trucks were stolen in our small town. Strangers are showing up on porches and patios in the wee hours of the night. Rings have footage of countless folks, grabbing car door handles, stealing, destroying. Coincidence? And it happens every single night now. Every single night.

Sex trafficking, which had decreased considerably in the last four years, has skyrocketed. But the media ignores it. Who cares about the children being kidnapped and raped and sold into a sex trade when icecaps are melting?

It doesn’t end in Texas, . They travel up. If you open a border with no rules, with NO PLAN on how to help or tend to folks, nowhere to house them or feed them, desperate and angry, they will do whatever it takes to survive. You will be the prey. Where is the “infrastructure” for this? Many of them are drug lords. 8,000 lbs of cocaine & meth have been seized from illegals along the Rio Grande.

According to khou.com, CBP agents in the Rio Grande Valley reported a 300% year-to-year increase in fentanyl busts along the Texas border. In the first four months of 2020, DPS seized 10.6 pounds of fentanyl. Through April of 2021, Troopers confiscated 94.5 pounds, a nearly 794-percent increase year to year.

But it’s not just a Texas problem. Agents in California found 2.8 tons of methamphetamine and fentanyl with a street value of nearly $13 million. Officers in Memphis, TN found 2.85 kilos of fentanyl hidden in wooden boxes, enough to potentially kill hundreds of thousands of people.

We had a president who protected us from invasion, and now we have a dictator who creates it. Evil is headed your way, no matter which state you live in, thanks to this regime. Evil that could have been prevented.


I Dare Say D’Orsay

For those who enjoy The Blog of Funny Names, please peruse today’s post.

The Blog of Funny Names

Y’all, I watch a lot of Hallmark movies. Every new movie on Saturday at 8pm, I am there. And while I am very aware that Candace Cameron Bure is the queen of Hallmark, and that Lacy Chabert is the princess, I contend that Brooke D’Orsay is Miss Christmas, as she was labeled in the movie of the same title. In it, her job was to find the perfect Christmas tree, bold and grand, the opposite of a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Here she dons one of many colorful Hallmark film jackets, probably during a warm summer shoot in Vancouver, surrounded by fake snow and empty mugs of what is purported to be hot chocolate.


But it is not the jacket I covet. Nay! Hands down, it is her covetable hair. Thick and lustrous and long. Almost like a flowing horse’s mane, which is exactly what her last name…

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Shoulda Learned To Rope And Ride

Today we return with more fun rodeo pics from days of yore. Let’s start with pre-Sonicare preparation. No rodeo queen wants dingy teeth.

What she does want is a cowboy.

One who looks at her like this. 

One to think about on the long bus rides.

One to make babies with.

But in the meantime, let’s just enjoy the show.

Don’t forget your posture.

Or the moves to your routine.

Flash that smile.

And some day, you may grow up to be her.

Despite her misgivings.

It’s Not What You Thot

The Blog of Funny Names


Flipping through the pages of the August 2019 InSTYLE magazine, I recently stumbled across this Loreal ad of two stunning models, Duckie Thot and Luma Grothe. While one could argue that Luma Grothe is a fine funny name in its own right, there is no humor there, save supposing one said her last name as “Gross” with a lisp.

Rather, today we celebrate her Loreal lipstick sister in crime, Duckie Thot.

Duckie (understandably) is the nickname for 23-year-old Nyadak Thot. Born to a family of South Sudanese refugee, she was raised in Australia, where Aussies could not pronounce Nyadak. Thus, “Duckie” was born. We’ll get to that later.

Now, if you are of a particular age, or still say “far out,” then you might not be aware that THOT is an acronym for “that ho over there.” Yep, kids say it.


An IG THOT is an Instagram THOT…

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Pie Season

Clifton Adams 1935

October is finally here, and pies are on my mind. While no season is “pie season,” we don’t typically eat much pie when it’s 100 degrees in Texas, which it mostly always is. God willing, soon we’ll be down to 90 degrees, and the glory of autumn will usher in the holiday season.


Longtime readers will know I forewent a wedding cake in favor of blackberry and key lime pie, so you know where my heart is. In fact, we only watched the movie “Waitress” because I wanted to see her make pies!


Y’all, I know there are pizza pies and meat pies, but I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about the reason to buy a Martha Stewart magazine, for the sheer artwork of her pie pics. Her site is full of moist pie porn pics.


Pie can be art.


Or patriotic.


Many pies are better a la mode.

But mostly pie just makes us smile.


Baldassare Longhena: Going For Baroque

The Blog of Funny Names

Without my readers (not YOU GUYS–my specs), the blurry name above suggests bad-a$$ longhorns, the mascot of my alma mater. But using my prescription readers, I can sound it out as it should be. Bal-das-SA-reh. Say it with your fingers pinched together like an Italian (but say “eye-talian” because it’s more fun). Today, we learn about the funny-named Venetian architect, Baldassare Longhena.

Bald bottoms aside, Baldassare is actually Italian for Balthazar. And Longhena certainly wasn’t the first famous Balthazar. Despite the fact that the Gospel of Matthew nowhere names the Magi (or even says there were three), tradition suggests that “we three kings of Orient are” answered to Caspar, Melchior, and Balthazar. The latter is referred to as the King of Arabia and the one who offered the ever-questionable myrrh, a resin which most of us have lived our lives without. Here he is depicted mid-offer. 

The Adoration…

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Oy Vey, Van Der Oye

The Blog of Funny Names

Hola and bienvenidos, readers of this funny-named blog. We shall not let you down with today’s multisyllabic offering. While logic and reasoning would lead me to call this bearded paleskin a Netherlander, as he springs from Voorst, Gelderland, Netherlands, I must use the more accurate term of Dutch.


Today we celebrate the Dutch politician, Willem Anne Assueer Jacob Schimmelpenninck van der Oye. For most of us, the only Willem with which we are familiar is actor Willem Dafoe, not to be confused with Willem DaFriend. While this is completely irrelevant, I do feel I must share with you the name of Dafoe’s spouse, Giada Colagrande, before we proceed on the Dutch front, simply because this blog demands it. It brings to mind an image of Food Network’s Giada De Laurentiis holding a Super Big Gulp of Coke. While Giada would not be caught dead in a 7-11…

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