Milano Collection AT: Pepperidge Farm Remembers

The Blog of Funny Names

https://alchetron.com

That open palm belongs to Japanese wrestler Akihito Sawafuji (aka Akihito Terui), better known by his ring name Milano Collection A.T. Today the Blog of Funny Name salutes him!

For many of us, “Milano” reminds us of an indulgent dessert cookie. Do you remember? Pepperidge Farm sure does. They make the chocolatey goodness (otherwise known as “Monacos” in Canada because Socialism). Now that’s what I call a real Milano Collection.

http://www.boxed.com

But not in Japan, my friends. In Japan, a Milano Collection is a wrestler. Debuting at the turn of the century, Milano Collection A.T. soon adopted the shtick of an Italian fashion aficionado and supermodel, wearing lavish coats, which he would then discard. Supermodel, work!

http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.com

Those Italian wristbands, though.

In another case of nominative determinism, the Fuji (while a mountain or a camera film to you) in Sawafuji’s name means “man of status.” And that he was. Why…

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Oh, Snap, Osip

The Blog of Funny Names

Alone I stare into the frost’s white face.  

On New Year’s Eve, I looked into the sky, and white flakes fell. Never had such a thing happened in all of my NYE’s. The dogs’ water bowls turned to blocks of ice. Never had I been forced to boil water in a kettle LIKE IT’S 1891 simply to make my dog’s water be water again. Is this global warming? Texas has forgotten how to Texas.

But Russia never forgets how to Russia. Russians spend every winter staring into the frost’s white face.

http://wanna-joke.com

Alone I stare into the frost’s white face. Such is the first line of poetry from Osip Emilyevich Mandelstam, whom we will be profiling this winter’s morn. Oh, sip some coffee as we study his life. Who knew the name Emily was just an abbreviation for Emilyevich? Oy!

Back in 1891, when people routinely boiled water in…

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Rave For Dave, Part Deux

The Blog of Funny Names

Hello, dear readers! Kerbey here. Today we continue our Rave for Dave Campaign, as we sing the praises of our fearless Blog of Funny Names leader. In yesterday’s post, Fannie updated us on his health issue, and ways we can contribute to his GoFundMe page. With our support, we can help him win this battle! To add to that support, I offer my silly and sincere ode to brave Dave.

Ode To Dave, Who Is Strong Like Bull

What can I say of my pal, Dave?

His friendship is a gift

He’s a glass half-full, super middleweight guy

With more enthusiasm than Taylor Swift

He’s hope and resilience, endurance and charm

Charisma and kindness, his nature

Ever-the-encourager, boxing-phile

Lover of nomenclature

So maybe he favors red hoodies

Maybe he’s donned zebra pants

Could he have worn a “Merry “Chrithmith” sweater?

I think there’s a pretty good chance

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Vassilis Tsitsanis, Master Of Bouzouki (Or Long-Necked Plucked Lute)

The Blog of Funny Names

Happy Spring, dear readers, and καλως ΗΡΘΑΤΕ (kalos IRTHATE) to you! That’s Greek for welcome and entirely fitting for today’s funny-named Greek bouzouki player, Vassilis Tsitsanis. 

alchetron.com

Born and died on the same day of January 18th (1915 – 1984), Tsitsanis was a Greek songwriter (of over 500 songs) and founder of Rebetiko (Greek urban laika songs). One of the leading Greek composers of his time, he is remembered as an accomplished composer and bouzouki player.

Google Translate pronounces his name as Vah-seeltz Teets-a-neice. I have never met a Vassilis (Greek for Basil) in my time, but evidently there are several dozen famous Greek “footballers” who answer to Vassilis, Greek for Basil, so it is not an uncommon name. However, Tsitsanis went by his surname most of the time.

Interested in music from a young age, the Trikala-born youngster learned to play the violin, mandola, and the mandolin. However, art doesn’t often…

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Benay Venuta Needs No Latuda

The Blog of Funny Names


http://www.findagrave.com

Happy springtime, dear readers, and welcome back to the Blog of Funny Names! The glammed-up starlet in the 1930s Jean Harlowesque pose above is none other than Benay Venuta, our funny focus for the day. Thankfully, she was not “bland” like the recipient of this hairfingering headshot. Au contraire!

Born in San Francisco on January 27, 1911, little Benvenuta Rose Crooke grew up in California. We can assume her Swiss-Italian mother gave her the name Benvenuta, as benvenuto means “welcome” in Italian. Personally, it’s not so odd, as my great-grandfather was named Bienvenido (“welcome” in Spanish). Evidently, babies are welcome entities.

Venuta graduated from Hollywood High School and attended finishing school in Geneva. There she studied long enough to learn both French and Italian but subsequently dropped out (thereby not finishing Finishing School) and moved to London to work as a dancer. She returned to the States in 1928, continuing to pursue show…

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When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be There Overnight

“A Living Lens”

I wish this book would have given me more information than “a man ties packages to an elephant as people watch.” That elicits a fourth grade, “Well, no duh” from me. If I have to guess a year, I’d say circa 1920s. We can’t even be certain whether the burdened beast was named Dumbo or Jumbo. I’d say Jumbo, as the Disney movie wasn’t released till 1941. P.T. Barnum’s original Jumbo was killed in a train accident in 1885, so this not that Jumbo.

That Jumbo stood 12 feet tall and weighed 7 tons–the largest elephant anyone had ever seen.  He liked “Scotch whiskey, which he was given regularly” during an Atlantic crossing after he left London. Though he died at only age 24, a life-size statue of his likeness was erected in 1985 in St. Thomas, Ontario, Canada to commemorate the centennial of the elephant’s death.

Incidentally, the name Jumbo spawned the word we use today to mean large in size, not the other way around. So the next time you buy a jumbo-sized beverage or candy bar, think fondly of an elephant.