Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, I watch a lot of Hallmark movies. Every new movie on Saturday at 8pm, I am there. And while I am very aware that Candace Cameron Bure is the queen of Hallmark, and that Lacy Chabert is the princess, I contend that Brooke D’Orsay is Miss Christmas, as she was labeled in the movie of the same title. In it, her job was to find the perfect Christmas tree, bold and grand, the opposite of a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Here she dons one of many colorful Hallmark film jackets, probably during a warm summer shoot in Vancouver, surrounded by fake snow and empty mugs of what is purported to be hot chocolate.

But it is not the jacket I covet. Nay! Hands down, it is her covetable hair. Thick and lustrous and long. Almost like a flowing horse’s mane, which is exactly what her last name…

InSTYLEAug2019

Flipping through the pages of the August 2019 InSTYLE magazine, I recently stumbled across this Loreal ad of two stunning models, Duckie Thot and Luma Grothe. While one could argue that Luma Grothe is a fine funny name in its own right, there is no humor there, save supposing one said her last name as “Gross” with a lisp.

Rather, today we celebrate her Loreal lipstick sister in crime, Duckie Thot.

Duckie (understandably) is the nickname for 23-year-old Nyadak Thot. Born to a family of South Sudanese refugee, she was raised in Australia, where Aussies could not pronounce Nyadak. Thus, “Duckie” was born. We’ll get to that later.

Now, if you are of a particular age, or still say “far out,” then you might not be aware that THOT is an acronym for “that ho over there.” Yep, kids say it.

YouTube

An IG THOT is an Instagram THOT…

Without my readers (not YOU GUYS–my specs), the blurry name above suggests bad-a$$ longhorns, the mascot of my alma mater. But using my prescription readers, I can sound it out as it should be. Bal-das-SA-reh. Say it with your fingers pinched together like an Italian (but say “eye-talian” because it’s more fun). Today, we learn about the funny-named Venetian architect, Baldassare Longhena.

Bald bottoms aside, Baldassare is actually Italian for Balthazar. And Longhena certainly wasn’t the first famous Balthazar. Despite the fact that the Gospel of Matthew nowhere names the Magi (or even says there were three), tradition suggests that “we three kings of Orient are” answered to Caspar, Melchior, and Balthazar. The latter is referred to as the King of Arabia and the one who offered the ever-questionable myrrh, a resin which most of us have lived our lives without. Here he is depicted mid-offer. 

The Adoration…

Hola and bienvenidos, readers of this funny-named blog. We shall not let you down with today’s multisyllabic offering. While logic and reasoning would lead me to call this bearded paleskin a Netherlander, as he springs from Voorst, Gelderland, Netherlands, I must use the more accurate term of Dutch.

wikipedia

Today we celebrate the Dutch politician, Willem Anne Assueer Jacob Schimmelpenninck van der Oye. For most of us, the only Willem with which we are familiar is actor Willem Dafoe, not to be confused with Willem DaFriend. While this is completely irrelevant, I do feel I must share with you the name of Dafoe’s spouse, Giada Colagrande, before we proceed on the Dutch front, simply because this blog demands it. It brings to mind an image of Food Network’s Giada De Laurentiis holding a Super Big Gulp of Coke. While Giada would not be caught dead in a 7-11…

http://www.famousbirthdays.com

Happy almost summer, fellow bloggers! Today’s funny-named fella may look familiar. If older George McFly and the actor who played him in BTTF, Crispin Glover (himself oddly-named), had a baby, it would be Jurgen Klopp. See what I mean?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk

Spitting.

Image.

So who is Jurgen Klopp? Well, since he’s German, folks over there pronounce it Yurgen. He’s a former “football” player who now manages club Liverpool in the Premier League. Of course, it’s not really football as we know it; it’s soccer. But y’all know how they do over there. I suppose if he resides in Liverpool, he’s a bonafide Liverpudlian (so fun to say, while bringing to mind images of puddle-hopping and rainy UK days). But did you know they’re also called “Scousers,” a reference to “scouse” or stew? Who cares about Jurgen when I can show you pics of scouse? Mmm!

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk

Doesn’t that look…

Ready yourselves because today’s funny/interesting/curious name isn’t chock full of vowels or silly sounds or alliteration. ‘Tis true. But it will honor today’s birthday boy (no, not John Travolta), the guy on the one dollar bill. So buckle up, because we’re about to go on a wonderfully spherical ride.

http://www.famousinventors.org

The dapper Dan above is George Washington Gale Ferris Jr., an American engineer and inventor, not to be confused with the other famous Ferris–Bueller, the sick-faking high school slacker in the 1986 film. As you can probably surmise, this Ferris is best known for creating the original Ferris Wheel for the 1893 Chicago World’s Columbian Exposition, aka the World’s Fair, which celebrated the 400th anniversary of Christopher Columbus’s arrival to the New World in 1492. We all know that rhyme, don’t we?  

memegenerator.net

Though he appears to be named after our first president, he was actually the junior to dad, George Washington Gale Ferris…

Warmest winter greetings to you, BOFN readers! Today’s interesting name offers a plethora o’ vowels, reminiscent of a Hawaiian-themed Bing Crosby Christmas song. Join me as we shine a light Ro Lady Lala Mara, the wife of modern Fiji’s founding father, Ratu Sir Kamisese Mara. Ratu means Chief, and Ro was the title she was given. Below is Castaway Island in Fiji. Isn’t it lovely?

http://www.booking.com

While her husband was born with the amazing name of Kamisese Kapaiwai Tuimacilai Uluilakeba (which contains all the vowels save O), his wife’s name contained all of them except E. I advise some vocal warm-ups before attempting to say it: Litia Cakobau Lalabalavu Katoafutoga Tuisawau. That wouldn’t fit on a drivers license.

It’s a lot to take in. They are equally amazing names, no? However, in this era of #metoo and diversity, one is forced to choose the XX chromosomes to celebrate. And really, Lala…

https://alchetron.com

That open palm belongs to Japanese wrestler Akihito Sawafuji (aka Akihito Terui), better known by his ring name Milano Collection A.T. Today the Blog of Funny Name salutes him!

For many of us, “Milano” reminds us of an indulgent dessert cookie. Do you remember? Pepperidge Farm sure does. They make the chocolatey goodness (otherwise known as “Monacos” in Canada because Socialism). Now that’s what I call a real Milano Collection.

http://www.boxed.com

But not in Japan, my friends. In Japan, a Milano Collection is a wrestler. Debuting at the turn of the century, Milano Collection A.T. soon adopted the shtick of an Italian fashion aficionado and supermodel, wearing lavish coats, which he would then discard. Supermodel, work!

http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.com

Those Italian wristbands, though.

In another case of nominative determinism, the Fuji (while a mountain or a camera film to you) in Sawafuji’s name means “man of status.” And that he was. Why…