
Mona, that’s all well and good, but before you get to the weight loss secret, please explain why your child appears to be both barefoot and topless in a nationwide ad-VERR-tiz-mint. Surely a Hollywood A-lister such as yourself could spring for a blouse and sandals, unless you spent all your money on Ayds.

Now, see here, we’d usually end this post at this point. But I fear you’ll go Googling Ms. Freeman, and you might wind up at WikiFeet by accident, as I did, a site for freaks who enjoy celebrity feet. So to spare you such heathenism, I’ll share this shot of Mona and Tony Curtis learning sign language on the set of the movie “Flesh and Fury,” wherein Curtis played a deaf-mute prizefighter.

And here she is with Roy and Dale, wearing a belted gingham dress that shows off her Ayds waist.

In this shot, she and Jane Russell talk smack about the peons at Paramount.

And finally, a shot of her with leading man, William Holden, while filming “The Streets of Laredo,” incidentally also the name of a New Zealand folk band.

Oh, to be young and lithe!
A product whose name didn’t age well. “Hey, I heard he got Ayds and lost a lot of weight! I sure hope I get Ayds, too!” Try saying that out loud these days. “Tired of flossing? Try Meth Toothpaste!” I actually recall Ayds – my Mom tried them from time to time with no discernible effect except that we kids thought they were chocolates and would try to steal some. Tasted horrible as I remember. The original ingredient in Ayds was Benzocaine which is a local anesthetic (still used in Ora Jel toothache remedy I think). It was supposed to numb the tongue and thereby reduce desire to eat. It is also used by veterinarians to anesthetize amphibians. God’s truth. Science, huh?
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Omg. Benzocaine? I guess that would work. Seems about as desirable as having covid and not being able to taste or smell and losing a pound a day. So not only did it taste gross, it was ineffective in losing weight.
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Yeah, but the amphibians liked it a lot.
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Reading this while I sit on my ample rump contemplating how I am going to shift all those pandemic pounds with the least effort involved, I have the urge to tell Mona to get stuffed. I had never heard of Mona Freeman so I had to have a bit of a google and I learned that she was a teenage starlet whose fame waned as she aged so that she was a washed-up B-list actress before she was even 30. I also had to google Ayds and, while not as problematic as other diet aids of yesteryear, that stuff sounds nasty. So, yes, Mona can take a hike while I enjoy my cheese sandwich without a numb tongue.
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You tell ’em. I’m still eating my Mother’s Day strawberry cake with lemon icing and the chocolate covered peanuts I bought last week, and a roast is filling up the house with its unctious juices. So I’ll sit on my ample rump as well. I had never heard of Mona either. Maybe she would have been better remembered without the Ayds.
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When I was young my dad kept a box in his bedroom and I would sneak in sometimes and snatch a piece. Better than nothing.
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Ha!
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