Bills Are Rising, And So Is My Mailbox

Clifton Adams 1935

This Little Fork, Minnesota farmer was tired of state road plows burying his mailbox beneath 10 foot drifts. So he used his noggin and attached the mailbox to a log boom, resembling an old-fashioned well sweep.

“Kerbey, what’s a well sweep?” you may be asking.

Per http://galleryatwellsweep.com,

A well sweep is a device used to bring water up from a well. The term “sweep” refers to the long pole which is lowered until the bucket on the end goes down into the well and fills with water. Because the pole is anchored in the middle on another pole, creating a fulcrum, it can be counter balanced, thus making it easy to raise the pole, and lift the bucket from the well.

And never confuse a fulcrum with a philtrum–that groove above your lip that Millennials pierce.

That’s A Stretch

This new ad for the CX-5 (that’s the best name they could come up with?) declares, “When Thomas Edison threw the switch, it changed everything. SKYACTIV® TECHNOLOGY makes the Mazda CX-5 more fuel-efficient than any hybrid SUV.”

I believe this is called REACHING. Comparing Edison’s contributions to the world with Mazda’s ability to create an SUV that gets a WHOPPING (whoa–slow down, mister) 35 MPG? That is a mind-blower! What does a Prius get again? Oh, 51, that’s right. Can’t you make an SUV that gets close to that?

According to http://www.tomedison.org, among his over a thousand patents, Edison invented:

  •  the electrical vote recorder
  •  the automatic telegraph system
  • paraffin paper
  • the electric pen used for the first mimeographs
  • the carbon telephone transmitter, making telephony commercially practical, including the microphone used in radio
  • the phonograph
  • the incandescent light
Edison in the middle of inventing everything we've ever heard of

Edison in the middle of inventing everything we’ve ever heard of

In addition he discovered “Etheric Force,” an electric phenomenon that is the foundation of wireless telegraphy, as well as the “Edison Effect,” the fundamental principle of electronics.

After that, he invented the motion picture camera, the fluorescent electric lamp, the nickel-iron-alkaline storage battery, and the electric safety miner’s lamp. So, yeah, he and Mazda are in the same league, in the way that Schwarzenegger and DeVito are twins.

twins

So Edison invented the light bulb, which you’re probably using right now. Big deal. Mazda invented the GLC (yes, it really stands for Great Little Car).

Top THAT, Edison!