Jimmy may be wearing loafers, but there’s no loafing going on here. He’s making sure he’s got the energy to keep loading boxes of atomic fireballs, Butterfingers, and Baby Ruths. Surely he’s got the metabolism to indulge in chocolate bars each shift. He might even snag a box of Pom Poms on his way out.
Yes, I did go grocery shopping today, and yes, the TP and paper towel aisle, which is enormous, was nearly wiped dry.
Fortunately, we got our always overpriced $20 8-pack of Cottonelle last week, and that should last us until Halloween, which I’m pretty sure won’t exist this year, unless you can finagle some sort of contactless curbside amongst kids who were never able to try on costumes in the first place because fitting rooms are closed. And speaking of Halloween candy and chocolate, the pictures above were images of children in Berlin, excited to their cores about the “American chocolate bombers” who dropped candy tied to miniature parachutes as they flew into the city. Can you imagine a selfless world of kindness like that today?
Well, it’s three days after Christmas, so the retail shops are full of Valentine’s candy, like this generous portion of chocolates from 1949. You realize by next week, that pic will be 70 years old?
I don’t know about you, but I visit Walgreen’s weekly. Mostly to see if they have Arizona green tea on special, but also to peruse the chocolate aisle and grab a box (or five) of Russell Stover. I am familiar with every Russell Stover chocolate, chew, or cream that exists. I could rank them all in order. Roman nougat would be near the top, and I don’t even know what makes it Roman. The pinkness? But only in dark, not milk. I get the yellow box.
And I can never eat just one.
What about you? Do you eat boxed chocolate? Does it remind you of Forrest Gump? Do you prefer Whitman’s?
I Don't Get It 