What could be sadder than Prolon-induced pig anxiety? Perhaps hooves clutching a wishbone of a fellow creature? Who cares? Hitler is dead!
All of today’s ads come to us from the summer of 1946, when the country was just beginning to get back on her feet. The war was in the past, and so was hog bristle. In this new age, science was the winner, and pigs vs prophylactic Prolon made good copy.
But not as good as a head of youthful, vibrant, slick hair that caught a young lady’s eye. Watch as his locks emanate vitality.
And speaking of crushes, why not try Orange Crush, filled with the juice of tree-ripened Valencia oranges? Yes, that’s right. Actual juice in the bottle, as well as pulp!
Not a fan of orange? Then pause to refresh with Hires. Cheers to silly puns! Now let me dig, woman.
Not a soda person? Maybe a Bloody Mary is in your future. Make it sing with A-1, the dash that makes the dish!
After all that imbibing, it’s time to wind down, head to the parlor, and listen to some Big Band on the Crosley radio. Perhaps make room for a cooling after-dinner mint. Everyone’s heard of Richardson’s mints. U-All-No!
I Don't Get It 
Did the fan blow off the polar bear’s other eyeball?!?! The pigs feeling insecure over the tooth brush bristles is super weird but also made me really laugh.
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Goodness, I hadn’t even noticed that blighted bear! Probably a vet from the war. I would think the pigs would be glad that their bristles weren’t in such high demand, no?
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Wow, there’s so much here to unpack. I mean. nothing tastes better than a little pig bristle in your mouth in the morning. I’m guessing sales o Jewish and Muslim communities were a bit slow for the Prolon folks. Grape, not Orange, Crush was my beverage of choice as kid, I swear it was addictive. If I want my tomato juice to sing a little Smirnoff would beat A-1 sauce any day. That after dinner mint at 10 cents in 1946 would cost $1.40 today adjusted for inflation so I think it was over priced back then. And nobody inspects my rigging unless I get drinks and dinner first.
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Wow. This is a lot to unpack as well. I had not even considered the repercussions of non-pork people. I guess if you find swine filthy, you would be happy to kill it and rid the world of swine. Fake bristles would make you happy. I’m guessing the grape did not have any pulp in it? So you graduated from Crush to Smirnoff, the natural Order of Things. Your calculations do makes sense on the mints, unless $1.40 could buy you a hundred mints. That would be fair. Then your breath would be minty-fresh when you get your rigging inspected!
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Should you decide to unleash pigacide on the world, please remember to save me some baby backs. I love my baby back, baby back, baby back…..
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Cursed earworm!
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I wonder how Orange Crush devolved into just another orange soda, Kerbey. The pulp and juice crowd couldn’t sustain it, or the soda crowd was just growing too quickly?
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That’s what I wondered! I guess it’s cheaper not to use real juice.
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