If Pink suddenly developed a Madonna-esque Material Girl fixation with Marilyn Monroe, rushed out to the closest Supercuts for a bad bleach job and an even worse perm, lamented her decision and (in lieu of shaving it all off a la Britney Spears) drank the regret away with Fireball Whisky, jumped aboard a casino boat and (while at the buffet) stole several of their fiesta-themed napkins and fashioned them into a bikini, then (like Natalie Wood) “fell” off the boat and wound up ashore at dawn with a beast of a hangover, briefly considered an alternate career as a driftwood artist, and decided that her first good decision of the day would be to seductively climb aboard a plywood crate, sucking in that tummy–it would look like this.
I Don't Get It 
Wow. You my dear friend have out done your self. The picture may be ho-hum but your rave is outstanding. Brava.
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🙂
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Other than the fact that she is also obviously suffering diarrhea cramps from the shrimp buffet on the boat, this may be the best paragraph ever typed in the English language…
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Oh! I think you may have something there. The lack of hygiene on a casino boat is abhorrent–or perhaps she ate shrimp with dirty quarter slot machine fingers…
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It can undoubtedly be blamed on one thing or the other, but that pose is unmistakable…
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I know I’m getting old when my first reaction to that photo was…”geez, she’s gonna really get some splinters on her knee.” This was not pulchritudinous.
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Hey, I’ve never posed like that…..oh, wait a second, you said sexy people…..okay, forget I said anything.
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In your defense, it might be a helpful pose if one had a bad hip and needed to prop oneself up momentarily.
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Yikes. Nothing about that looks comfortable!
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No!
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That is the best thing you have ever written, Kerbey. Name-dropping perfect, observations dead-eye, prose worthy of Carl Hiassen. Love it. The photo almost looks like a smirking Kramer on ‘Seinfeld’ gone blonde, or maybe one of the circus clowns he was so deathly afraid of, when I squint a lot.
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XD XD Now I have to go read something by Carl Hiaasen.
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Please do. He’s one of the best, Kerbey. Funny man.
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oooh la la and va va voom. That is a weird bikini top.
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I feel like one more napkin could have provided a lot more coverage.
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Awww—- I think he looks pretty good considering all that surgery he had to have.
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DOH!
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She looks a little like a longshoreman/transvestite. She’s trying too hard.
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I can see that.
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Bruce Jenner has really let himself go.
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No one can argue that. The more I look at him/her, I think this might be Lindsay Lohan’s grandma.
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*rocks back and forth mumbling to himself* stop staring at her boobs.. Stop staring at her boobs
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Spot on in your description! 🙂
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