Elsie and Elmer Borden: A Lesson In Dairy Dysfunction

December 19, 1949 LIFE
December 19, 1949 LIFE

The First Couple of Borden’s Milk products always seemed to be arguing, as they graced the pages of LIFE magazine throughout the 1940s and 50s.

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Elmer was controlling.

Elsie was passive aggressive. But, dear…

The ad continues for nearly a DOZEN paragraphs, nothing for which today’s reader would have time. The dialog eventually addresses the product of Christmas. None Such Mince Meat.

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Can you imagine an ad today making reference to Cabbages and Kings? Would most readers understand a reference to the 1904 O. Henry novel, itself a reference to Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass? I shant believe it.

Not only have I never tasted None Such Mince Meat, I have never seen hide nor hair of it. The main ingredients include raisins, molasses, dried apples, beef and spices. Not what I think of when I think of pie.

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And what about you? Have you ever put a forkful of this into your gullet?

Later, Elmer asks, “Didn’t they punish nagging wives in the public square?” To which Elsie responds, “What a silly idea! Who’d make the mince meat pie while the wife was in the square?” Yikes! Better make sure that eggnog is spiked for tonight’s meal.

13 thoughts on “Elsie and Elmer Borden: A Lesson In Dairy Dysfunction”

  1. Now that’s funny. I can’t imagine reading to the end of that ad. Regarding mince meat, for years my mom made one every year for Christmas dinner. Around 1980 she realized only she and my dad were eating it. 🙂

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  2. LOL What a delightful post. I remember the Borden cows very well,and the Borden’s delivery driver. As for None Such I remember that as well. I liked it. It was something we had only on very special occasions. I was just thinking about making some minced meat just last week. Forgot about None Such. Thanks for the pics,post and the reminder.

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      1. I think the phrase was meant to mean something or someone without equal. They still make it and the little Kroger store I go to has it. So I can make a pie for Christmas. Then I can have a pie without equal.

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      5. Yep. I am all excited. Making the stuff is more than a little work. Plus you have to wait 2 weeks before you can eat it. I like my satisfaction more immediate. Speaking of satisfaction I finally found some Hatch chiles. Kroger had them for 99 cents per pound some time back. I was able to get about 10 pounds, roasted them, peeled them and chopped them and froze some. Of course they are all gone. Boy they were good.

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      7. So right. I went to 3 stores to get mine and 1 batch was very hot the other 2 pleasantly warm. Now my partner knows what I have been talking about. She is quite the fan now.

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