22 thoughts on “The Chuck Norris Of Phones”

  1. Remember when we had to worry about long-distance rates, Kerbey? Darn phone company had us over a barrel. How dare they? Thieves! Monopoly!

    Oh, wait a minute. Now I have unlimited minutes on my cell phone and my monthly bill is still five times higher than my Ma Bell phone bill ever was back then. Dagnabbit!

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    1. My flip phone is $8 per month. Boo-yah. And long distance rates were not so long ago really. I had a long distance relationship in 1998 that led to outrageous bills, and he only lived 2.5 hrs away! I remember calling my mom when I went out of town with my dad at Christmas, and she told me to either call collect or keep it brief. That is one good thing these days–and digital film!

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      1. I have to go the big time phone plan for my blog photo needs because I don’t have the camera equipment that you do, and Karen and I are both on it, and I have the iPad on the plan, too, and I don’t use the Microsoft laptop at all anymore … Look at me rationalizing the costs away. You’re right, though, long-distance rates weren’t that long ago.

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      2. So my dentist looks in my mouth after my hygeinist is finished last month and says, “Your gums are a little too pink. I want you to come back in four months for a cleaning instead of six. I know your insurance won’t cover the extra visit but gum health is worth it.”

        And I said: “Nope.”

        End of story. And you, Kerbey?

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      3. My insurance said it would be $59 for a visit. I went in February then arrived on time as ever because I am punctual to a fault in August and they said it would be $89 and I said, “See you. I’m not a sucker. I’ll clean my own teeth. Peace out.” And I drove away. And I wished a pox upon them.

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      4. The bait and switch in health and dental and vision should not be tolerated. I bet you would have gotten your $30 back, but you would have been made to jump through hoops to get it. They calculate that there are folks that will just pay and not challenge, so they win. All of this is my speculation, of course. The hard fact is, they lose the whole $59 nut when somebody drives away like you did.

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  2. wow–had forgotten about long-distance rates! Am sure everyone has a story, but I remember my mom calling her parents weekly and my dad nervously pacing, tapping his watch to indicate that time is money. And now you couldn’t pay my daughters to pick up the phone to call another human being. Why share friendly voices when you can simply read a text?

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    1. I can see your dad pacing now. Time is money. My son actually is good at calling my granddad. I HATE HATE HATE the phone, so I try to avoid it at all costs.

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  3. I remember seeing something like that in the sky after a particularly hard night. Ha! There were long distance rates at the time and i just shrugged it off as my phone bill blasting sktwards. I had just had an hour long phone argument with my wife from Beijing to Ottawa that turned out to cost me over $600. I just waved back and went to bed/

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    1. I wish it was a hallucination. When I was driving long-haul, I had a phone plan where all long distance was free. Mind you it cost me about $200 permnth but was well worth ot and tax deductible. The $600 phone call was when I was in Beijing on business and called throigh the hotel switchboard using a calling card. They piled on charges like there was no tomorrow.

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  4. Oh I remember the Long distance rates. Calling a girl, with a pocket full of change. Got to do it at certain times. In a enclosed phone booth. I always thought it was just a part of growing up. Now I have an Android Tracfone that gives me a bunch of talk time for cheap.

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  5. Talking about the old days. eh? You snappers of whips. As a kid we were on a “party line” which despite the name was no fun at all. Several families all had the same line and when you picked up the phone you listened to see if anyone else had it already in use, The gossips could secretly listen in on others’ calls (not unlike today’s NSA).

    My worst long distance fee memory is of my son and his girlfriend who were in long distance relationship. Each night he would call her cross country. One night they got into a “you hang up first / no, you hang up first” thing and both fell asleep. I found out later the line was open for nine hours at a time when 3 minutes was costly. The phone company wanted over $1,000 for the call. I finally got them to believe what happened and they lowered the total to $300 which the kid worked off little by little.

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    1. They fell ASLEEP?? I would have lost my mind. Wooden planks would have been taken to hindquarters. I hope their love did not last and they have taken on new suitors.

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