If Crispin Glover Were A Hungry, Angry Shemale

ralph rucci ad for God only knows what
ralph rucci ad for God only knows what

Welcome to Vogue Sep 2013, 902 pages of over-the-top, aesthetically displeasing ads that I DO NOT GET. I still regret paying $1 for it. All I wanted was some perfume samples.

Vogue024

Look, I liked Vogue as a youth. I enjoyed models and high fashion and keeping up with the trends, perusing through the modern and artsy pages. Perhaps they were even inspiring at one point. But now? Now I cannot get past these ads. Vile.

Spare me any comments about how high-concept or fashion-forward Vogue is; you’ll only sound pretentious or as tired as Madonna’s antiquated song. Ads don’t happen by accident; I’m 100% certain this contrived androgynous look was exactly what they were going for.

All I know is, somebody, please FEED HER. (Not Jennifer Lawrence, but the topless one).  And make sure she keeps it down, if you know what I mean. And while you’re at it, throw a shirt on her and trot her to the closest neurologist to see if those dopamine receptors are down, because this one’s smile is broken.

Ralph Rucci, this makes me feel uncomfortable, and discomfort does not buy your product.  In fact, it makes me want to ralph into a toilet bowl (where you should put your flowy too-long skirt, fur muff, belt, gloves and bad eye shadow). And take that hairdon’t back to Moe from the Three Stooges. But props to you for getting celebs to buy your clothes! Rich folk love them some runways. Cha-ching!

http://www.becauseiamfabulous.com/
http://www.becauseiamfabulous.com/

And I apologize to Crispin Glover, who is actually much easier on the eyes (yet arguably as eccentric) than the aforementioned shemale.

http://tracyvanity.tumblr.com/
http://tracyvanity.tumblr.com/

 

7 thoughts on “If Crispin Glover Were A Hungry, Angry Shemale

  1. What the hell is that? And to fully validate Vogue’s descent into an alternate universe we have 2 versions of the same dress; featuring Skinny and Slutty. Be still my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m telling you, it’s 900 pages of ads like that. I didn’t understand hardly any of them, or what they were selling. I thought models were supposed to be attractive people in attractive clothes.

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  2. “attractive people in attractive clothes”?. I agree with to an extent, but not this. If it was always this way, fashion would get quite tedious and dull in my book. The androgynous look is fun, weird and powerful; whether they do it to sell, catch the eye or make a bold statement, it does make a change. Models should eat more though and that’s a fact..

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    1. I agree that fashion should get you thinking, and I can deal with levels of androgyny, but not this level of creepiness/anger/whatever. Keep in mind that I am getting old and crochety. You want to make your clothes attractive to people, to want to buy them, to want to be that model in that outfit, not to want to take the magazine and throw it against a wall.

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  3. outside of Seventeen when I was younger, I’ve never been a fan of fashion mags. My sister-in-law eats them up (figuratively but you knew that) and I just Don’t Get It. Though others would wonder why I read the food mags even when I don’t necessarily want to make the recipes. It’s about inspiration. And I think I’m missing a fashion gene. The blue-skirt guy makes me thing shock and awe.

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