I Don't Get It

Things That Don't Make Sense

Countdown to Thanksgiving November 15, 2013

As you prepare for your Thanksgiving holiday in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS, keep these important facts in mind:

  • If your in-laws are coming to your home, stock up on Pepto-Bismol. And remember what Benjamin Franklin said: “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” Hollah.

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  • If you’re the one traveling, make sure your vehicle has been well-maintained. I can’t overstate this enough.

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  • When you’re fueling up, use high anti-knock gasoline. You never know what kind of weather you will encounter.

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  • Many Americans enjoy spending hours swilling beer and watching football as a way of offering up thanks on this four-day weekend, so make sure your big screen TV is not on the fritz.

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  • Don’t forget the most important part: dessert! Everyone loves pies–pumpkin, pecan, apple, sweet potato, blackberry, chocolate cream, coconut cream…There’s always room for dessert.

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  • But above all, avoid excessive gluttony.

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  • And remember what it’s all about, Charlie Brown–an annual tradition since 1863, when Lincoln proclaimed a national day of “Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.”

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13 Responses to “Countdown to Thanksgiving”

  1. prosewithabbitude Says:

    I think Hallmark needs to hire you.

    Like

  2. Lizi Says:

    I concur with the dessert one. Pie is the best part of Thanksgiving: a well-earned reward for keeping six crazy little cousins out of the kitchen all day.

    Like

  3. Hendle Says:

    Old Abe had the right idea.

    Like


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