Take These Jobs And Shove Them

Look At America

I’ve my thrown my back out several times both sneezing and stepping off curbs the wrong way. I am not cut out to drive logs on the Swift Diamond River in New Hampshire, like these fellows. I am weak.

Nor can I tug wagons o’ tires.

Phillip Gendreau

When rubber came to Ohio in 1910, Akron became a boom city, and guys like this were able to breathe rubber fumes all day.

Here’s another job I can’t do due to my fear of heights. Is he washing windows? Is he scaling the sides of buildings to fulfill a male superhero fantasy? All I know is that was 40 years ago, and he ain’t doing it now.

1979 Cactus

And the last job I wouldn’t want: naked bakery boy.

Nat Geo 12/49

It’s not because I’m uppity or that I don’t love gluten, because I loves me some glutenny gluten. But I would need an apron. And some sort of hair net so as not to get stray hairs into the sourdough.

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