Take These Jobs And Shove Them

Look At America

I’ve my thrown my back out several times both sneezing and stepping off curbs the wrong way. I am not cut out to drive logs on the Swift Diamond River in New Hampshire, like these fellows. I am weak.

Nor can I tug wagons o’ tires.

Phillip Gendreau

When rubber came to Ohio in 1910, Akron became a boom city, and guys like this were able to breathe rubber fumes all day.

Here’s another job I can’t do due to my fear of heights. Is he washing windows? Is he scaling the sides of buildings to fulfill a male superhero fantasy? All I know is that was 40 years ago, and he ain’t doing it now.

1979 Cactus

And the last job I wouldn’t want: naked bakery boy.

Nat Geo 12/49

It’s not because I’m uppity or that I don’t love gluten, because I loves me some glutenny gluten. But I would need an apron. And some sort of hair net so as not to get stray hairs into the sourdough.

8 thoughts on “Take These Jobs And Shove Them”

“When rubber came to Ohio in 2010”. I trust that was a typo because I am pretty sure Akron is more than 9 years old. I couldn’t wash windows in a rig like that guy but I always thought it would be pretty cool doing it in a big basket that went up and down on the outside of the building.

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kerbey says:

March 22, 2019 at 3:34 pm

LOL, thanks for catching that! Other jobs I shouldn’t do: proofread blog posts. You wouldn’t be scared that the basket would somehow snap, and you’d plummet to your death?

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- Benson says:
  
  March 23, 2019 at 1:21 pm
  
  Not really. I always thought it would be nice to work all alone. No boss, no co-workers or customers to bother you. Plus the pay would be exceptional and you would only work in good weather.
  
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