Poor porker–he got outscienced! But take heart, you are still needed–for your delicious, delicious meat. Until then, enjoy fishing, wearing watches, and fastening overalls like the porcine do.
Hog bristle, huh? People brushed their teeth with hog bristle. Did you do that? More than one dentist has told me to never choose “hard” bristles, so I can only imagine how hard hog bristles are. Could you brusha-brusha-brusha with this implement?
I’ll pass. Chinese invented the bristle toothbrush in 1498 out of hog hair attached to bamboo or bone. I guess it got the job done, and possibly that last little fleck of pork that was wedged in between your molars. Perhaps if you only needed teeth until you were 30 (when you died), it wasn’t so bad. I have never felt so grateful for my Sonicare.