Tag: Dogs

This morning on Animal Planet (the channel), they showed a water spaniel wearing a “snood,” so it could eat kibble without getting its ears dirty.  God forbid.  A stylish version is shown on the classy canine above.  This ain’t no thrift shop snood.

Initially, I thought this might be a Hilton sister, due to the name, the lean Anglo features and fashion foward accessory.  But this (female dog) favors Paris more than Nicky.  It also begs the question: if poodles wear leopard print, would leopards wear poodle print?  As if.  They’d be laughed right out of the pride.

Imagine if they showed up in these jazzy little numbers.  The Grinch stole Christmas and then some.  Alrighty, let’s get our Jane Fonda Workout on!

Let’s be honest: snoods look pretty gay on humans, much less pooches.  (And I use the word the way we did in fourth grade, so deal with it.  I’m not allowed to say it looks retarded, which it does, because that’s offensive.)

I can understand why clothing on animals is Jay Leno’s pet peeve.  They have no choice in the matter; it serves solely to reflect the whims of its owners.  And I’m not talking Halloween, when dogs get dressed up as Superman, etc.  I mean everyday clothing.  And don’t tell me they need a cableknit sweater because it’s cold out.  Our dogs live outside.  Yes, even when it’s 25 degrees.  God gave them fur.  They’re still alive.

Is this cute?  Or would PETA people cry big salty tears over this?

I weep over this Labrador’s public humiliation.  

Can you hear him singing?  I wear my owner’s clothes.  I look incredible.  I’m in this big-a$$ shirt from that Petco down the road.  

But I may just have found the Julia Roberts to his Richard Gere.

Or is it Ginger from Gilligan’s Island?

I must admit I found this next bear snood to be pretty fetching.  It makes any Doberman look less menacing.

He may look cute as a button, but now he’s burdened with your great-aunt Mildred’s partial hearing loss.

“Come here, boy.”

“What?”

“Come here, boy!”

“Eh?”

Oh, screw it.