But We Don’t Use Furlongs

In 16 seconds, a trotter can travel one furlong. That’s a sentence I bet you’ve never said. We can deduce that the one trotting, the horse, is the trotter. Back in 1949, when this ad debuted, most folks knew what a furlong was: 1/8 of a mile or 660 feet. That’s further than I have to walk to go to my neighborhood mailbox. The Kohl’s is a half a mile away, so it’s half of half of that. Now I can picture it. I bet I could trot it in a flat minute, but surely not 16 seconds. And that’s the value of language in advertising; making sure your readers are on board. Today, the only furlong referenced is Edward, the hot mess of an actor, bless his heart.

Bayer came out in the century before the one we were all born in, unless you’re wee and Generation Z. And it’s the gold standard for folks with any heart issues to take each morning; I myself took a yummy chewable low-dose one for two years before I could discontinue it. It’s time-tested and cardiologist-approved. If you don’t take it, you’ve got friends or family who do. And if by chance, they want to sprint a furlong, they won’t drop dead of cardiac arrest while doing it.

If you’re the kind of person who wants extra credit and likes to learn old measurements, I’ll toss this bonus pic in for you.


Feel free to incorporate it into this weekend’s conversation, perhaps talking about how one day you’d like to retire and live on an oxgang. Wouldn’t we all?


7 thoughts on “But We Don’t Use Furlongs”

  1. This morning, after my daily 83mg baby aspirin (generic CVS, not Bayer), I was standing in my backyard which is somewhat smaller than a virgate (by about 99% actually) and I realized all of a sudden that my dog’s fur was too long.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Haha, yes the only time I use ‘furlong’ is at the races. But your post did remind me of a time, a few years ago, when I was helping on the farm. We were ‘mucking out’ and I had to deliver a trailer of manure to a local farmer. My nephew said when you get there he’ll tell you where he wants it.
    When I arrived the farmer said drop it about 3 chains into that field, pointed to a field and walked off. Completely baffled, I dropped it in the centre of the field and scurried home lol.

    Liked by 2 people

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