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Have you ever read those articles about birth order? You know, the ones that say things like this?

http://blog.ivman.com/

Frankly, I don’t think any of these would apply to today’s funny-named musician; Sol Hoʻopiʻi was born Child Numero 21 to his large Hawaiian family. TWENTY-ONE, y’all. That SURPASSES both the Duggars AND the Bates Family, who both only bore 19 total. I’d like to know if all his siblings had apostrophes in their names, too! What’s up with all the apostrophes?

Per  www.instanthawaii.com, the ‘Okina is the apostrophe mark and is a glottal stop – or a brief break in the word… As an example, think of the English oh oh – the small break, or silence, between the first oh and the second oh is the same break you would make if an ‘Okina appeared in the word (for example… oh’oh).

All told, Solomon Hoʻopiʻi Kaʻaiʻai  has…

Hello, dear readers of Funny Names! Today we learn about an odd fellow indeed. On this very day in 1959 (the same year that the US would grant statehood to both Alaska and Hawaii and then ne’er again add a star to our unfurled Stars and Stripes), little future-musician Blixa Bargeld was being birthed across the ocean. Presumably he looked as all infants do, squishy and diminutive, but then he grew up and made some questionable life choices. See below.

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It’s like a goth/punk Edward Scissorhands stapled his head to a mirror during a rebarbative hallucination. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

This precious child was initially born with the perfectly good name of Christian Emmerich. Growing up in West Berlin, his first album was Pink Floyd, but he was later influenced by German rock (Krautrock) acts Kraftwerk, Neu! and Can. When he left home in the late 70s to pursue music, he…

Welcome back to the Blog of Funny Names! I can’t believe we’re headed into the holiday season already, but we’re keeping the Funny Names train chugging. Today’s delicious dish is Conlon Nancarrow, an expat American composer who said adios to the U.S. of A. and headed south to tickle the ivories. He is best remembered for his studies for player piano, and one of the first composers to use auto-playing musical instruments.

http://www.chopo.unam.mx/

Conlon is an Irish family name, the gaelic spelling being Ó Connalláin. Per our friends at Wikipedia, the name may be derived from two Irish Gaelic words “Con” (meaning hound) and “Lón” (meaning lion), thereby implying a person who has the “characteristics of a lion born of a hound–strength and speed.” Have you ever even said that phrase? A lion born of a hound? And get this: Nancarrow is a Cornish surname meaning the “valley of the…

http://www.studenten.net

Hello, readers! Now that it’s September, we move from Olympic Games back to funny names. And the winner winner (chicken dinner) for Freaky Friday’s funny name is Freek de Jonge, the Dutch cabaret performer and writer. Yes, you heard right, folks! Freek it is!

Around these parts, “freak” is a pejorative, used to express contempt. For example, when we spot a curiously-coiffed and curiously-clad person, we often say, “Look at that freak on a leash,” a reference to an old Korn song. However, in the Netherlands, Freek is short for Frederick, which means “peaceful ruler,” derived from frid “peace” and ric “ruler.” So if you named your dog Freek, you actually could put him on a leash.

Frederik “Freek” Jan Georg de Jonge, who celebrated his 72nd birthday just this week, was born in the village of Westernieland. As festive as that name sounds, the family sought greener grass first in Workum, then in 

photo: Jasmin Schneebeli-Wochner/Gymbox

Welcome to the 2016 Rio Olympics edition of The Blog of Funny Names. Today we showcase siblings Diego and Daniele Hypólito, shown here, discussing the merits of having a hometown advantage this year in Brazil. Both are gymnasts, competing for the gold.

Do not confuse the two with other hippos like Hippolytus Guarinonius, noted physician and polymath. Isn’t that a fun word? It’s not actually a teacher of many maths; it’s more of a Renaissance man, one who has knowledge of broad subjects. And speaking of broad subjects…

Perhaps, like me, the accented Hypólito surname brings to mind a baby hippo.

http://deskbg.com/

While this is not altogether unpleasant, it is inaccurate. Neither sibling resembles a hippo in any way. But looks can be deceiving. While Daniele looks young, she will turn 32 (egads, man!) in September. Compare this to the fact that the average age of U.S. women’s gymnastics teams has…

Today we fondly remember Irish easy listening star, Val Doonican, who–according to The Guardian, a British daily newspaper—had “an easygoing, homely charm that enchanted middle England.” Such high-ish praise! A relaxed crooner, he was the Perry Como of the UK.

Could he be more chill?

http://forum.tz-uk.com/

Val is not a common male name; it brings to mind Valerie, either Bertinelli or the Steve Winwood song. In truth, the only other masculine Val with which I’m familiar is Mistah Val Kilmer, whose name is not short for anything. In today’s case, however, it’s short for Valentine.

Michael Valentine Doonican was born to a musical family on February 3 (the day the music died, but hadn’t yet), 1927 in Waterford, Ireland. His musical career began by playing in his school band at the age of six, then performing as a duo with buddy Bruce Clarke in 1947. I imagine he…