Last night I had a dream that I was on The 25,000 Pyramid, and I’d gotten to the Winner’s Circle with Melissa Joan Hart as my celebrity, giving me clues. She kept yelling “ham sandwich, ham sandwich” and all I could think was “Things You Eat At A Picnic,” “Things Kids Pack For Lunch,” “Things Pigs Turn Into”…And then the buzzer went off and she shook her head despairingly and I discovered the category was, “Things Mama Cass Died Of.” Which didn’t seem fair, since you usually only die of one thing, and that one thing was choking on a ham sandwich–not things plural. But then I remembered that was just an urban myth, and Cass actually had a heart attack at the age of 32. And really, if she was going to die of any sandwich, it should have been in a Hardee’s, where the burgers are charco-broiled, as she sang in the 1973 jingle.
Where The Burgers Are Charco-Broiled