Advertising, Fashion, Humor

Manatee Insanity

Target should not have to apologize for stocking a plus-sized dress in “manatee grey.”  If you get offended by that, you need to toughen up.  Manatees ARE a greyish hue.   Target has every right to label it what they will.  People get pissy about the craziest things.  I’m sure their intention was not to make plus-sized ladies feel like manatees, but guess what?  If you’re in the “Women’s” section, and not “Misses,” then you ARE fat.  So am I.  Nobody has a cow when they call it “cow print” skirt.  Suck it up, fatties.  I do.

What Target should be apologizing for is not playing music in their stores, for making what was once a pleasurable shopping experience more like a visit to a ghost town or a cemetery.  That’s what Target should fix.  Turn the music on.  And here’s another bone of contention: stop selling Starbucks coffee next to the watches and scarves. Yeah, their coffee is okay, but it’s not $4 okay. It’s about $2 okay. So how they’ve got the country fooled into dropping its disposable income into their cash registers is beyond me. Especially in a recession. I don’t get it.  Trade it out for a Dunkin Donuts.  At least you won’t feel raped when you leave the big red dot.

I buy my own coffee beans at the grocery store for $8.99/pound, grind it fresh in the morning, and it lasts over a week. It smells good, it tastes good, and it’s worth the price. But in the name of discipline, I’m trying to cut back, drinking more Sleepytime hot tea with honey, and less coffee with peppermint mocha creamer.  I’ve got a nice big mug; small mugs don’t do it for me. The problem is it’s covered with snowmen. Cute, but not appropriate for springtime. So for Mother’s Day, I think I’d like this:


And so what if it looks like me in a jacuzzi?  Sometimes I do resemble a sea cow.  So does most of the country.  Get over it.