If Puerto Ricans Can’t Choose Decent Shoes, How Can They Choose Decent Presidents?

Dec 79

Let me qualify that. Male Puerto Ricans. Puertorriqueños. From his bangs to his jaunty mustache, to his feminized clunky yellow sandals, to his flesh belt matching flesh socks, to his choice of stool, everything is wrong wrong wrong. Even 41 years later, his lady friend looks stylish and composed. But Enrique, not so much. I mean, look at his jean hem! Look at the cut of it!

I know Puerto Rico wants to be able to vote, and I don’t blame them. Really, the main barrier I can see is that we’d have to add another star to our flag, and OCD people would go nuts with an odd number of states. It wouldn’t line up correctly on the flag. We’d have to adopt yet another state to make it even. Or Texas could secede! Most folks my age still think we have nine planets; we’re not going to suddenly remember 51 states. Or we’ll say it with finger quotes, as if it isn’t real yet.

But maybe Enrique’s problem was that he was lit, juiced up on the rum for which he was plugging in this ad.

The thing is, they knew they were being photographed. Ingrid should have offered spously guidance. Could they even possibly still be married, after this atrocity? Or is the rum that good?

12 thoughts on “If Puerto Ricans Can’t Choose Decent Shoes, How Can They Choose Decent Presidents?”

  3. Strong mustache game. Decent rum game. Weak on positioning vis a vis hurricanes. I lived in a trust territory – Guam – and there were weird aspects. Like, we paid Federal taxes at same rate as the States but the money went to Guam not the Feds. There was a Congressional representative but she had no vote in Congress. Guam was (and is) an afterthought to mainstream US except for the military value.

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      1. It has its attractions too. Scuba diving was great. Fun exploring WW2 sites – don’t step on unexploded munitions! There were other positives, too, but it’s hard to think of them just now.

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