Winner Of Ugliest Font Contest

 

Sears71-022If I were a few decades older, had a poodle dog blue-tint permanent, cats-eye glasses, and support hose, I would jump up and yell, “Bingo!” because this font is hideous. By golly, this font is downright repellent, like a Gwyneth Paltrow quote or Kevin Smith himself.

Sears71-022

Indeed, the letters themselves appear to be wearing bellbottoms, or be suffering from pedal edema. As close as I can find, it looks like the Karloff Negative font, but my research was minimal. It would make sense, however, as Borlis Karloff was known for his horror movie roles, and this is horrific. Gee, this font looks horrific.

The 1971 catalog itself however, is the bomb. The cat’s meow. The bee’s knees.

Who can resist the poor man’s James Garner, wearing his not-a-wedding-ring and sporting a polyester/rayon blend? Do you see that “brown stripe” sample? That is legit cloth. I’m touching it. It has the feel of a fine silk blend.

Sears71-023

Yep, this catalog, preserved for four decades in a midwest basement, is in excellent condition, with a crisp mint green envelope inside.Sears71-026All you had to do was affix a SIX CENT stamp, until May of that year, when they jumped up to an atrocious eight cents. You, too, could order tailored clothing.

Prior to the convenience of online shopping, all you had to do was pick your fabric, have your wife measure you, and send in your check. Easy-peasy, right?

Sears71-025To complete the look, black Roy Orbison-inspired prescription sunglasses are suggested. P.S. Roy Orbison was not blind.

 

18 thoughts on “Winner Of Ugliest Font Contest”

  1. Not only is the font ugly their choice of colors is hideous as well. I find it hard to read. In the 70’s the thing I bought at Sears was tools. Oh and a car battery,once. Seeing this ad reminds me that it was the right decision.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. I didn’t forget to order my school clothes did I? It’s September and this catalog is giving me flashbacks, which cannot be confused with a hot flash. 😉

    The last set of pictures looks like my father-in-law back in the day . . . zoiks.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

      2. You have your thinking cap on today. This might be the case. I only wish these samples smelled of pizza and lemonade, as in days of yore.

        Like

  3. this is awesome, Kerbey. My first thought on seeing the font was American Hustle.

    Those are gosh-awful suits, but surely we’ll say the same thing about today’s fashions in a decade or so.

    Like

    Reply

    1. I wonder that, too. I can definitely see what went wrong in the 90s, but when I look at 2000-2010, what was odd there? Maybe WordPress will be like MySpace in ten years, and Conan O’Brien, in his 60s, will mock it. Maybe it will be big bums like Rhianna and the Kardashians…

      Like

      Reply

  6. That font looks like it’s from a 1971 album cover for Herp Albert and the Tiajuana Brass, or maybe Trini Lopez. My father had them both, Kerbey. I think the one with the font was “Whipped Cream and Other Delights.”

    Roy Orbison’s glasses were too cool for school. Buddy Holly had ’em, too, don’t forget. And then came Elvis Costello, who had to wear them or else he couldn’t name his album “My Aim Is True.”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Observation and Interpretation: